You Know What A Really Fun Game To Play With Yourself Is?

Besides THAT, we all do that.  Naturally.  OK, wait let me back up.  I’m not a grudge holder, in fact quite the opposite because if we’re close, I let A LOT slide, way to much in the opinion of most, really.   Now, if you’re an imposition to me whether you’ve been thrust on me or you’ve become one…..well I can’t help the way I react to you. Some examples of people who are an imposition to me could include:

• A craptacular co-worker or boss:  Elaboration; someone else decides to throw a group of people together in what is supposed to be a cohesive and supportive environment.  99.99% of hiring managers don’t give a f*ck about how people get along or what their personality may be like.  They just care that the person can get the job done.  On top of that you can’t really choose your bosses.  They may seem decent in your initial interview, but the micro-manager or tyrant boss the instant you screw up or are finally past the “nicety” period in your employment may eventually rear his or her ugly head.

• A family friend, or in-law, etc. who you can’t stand: This could be “uncle” Bob who belches continuously at the dinner table while dropping food into his beard or hocs up phlegm during a meal, turning your stomach.  He also has rude manners otherwise and believes that all women have been placed on Earth to serve him.  *SHUDDER* Yep, I had one of those, but poof that’s the magic of divorce, not having to deal with that a$$hat anymore.

• The friend that crosses you: Enough said.

So I like to ask myself “If I won the lottery tomorrow how might I handle a situation where I had the means (damage fees, court costs, etc) to really vent how I feel about them?” The below examples only apply to situations that arose at an old job because I don’t have time to keep impositional type people in my life. Yes, I just made up a word. These are dramatizations, and may or may not have only happened in my head. Though, because I’m not a millionairess or have ever done time, it’s safe to assume none of these situations have ever been acted out. If you choose, employ them at your own risk.

"Oh really, Mr. Vice President?? You want to park your behemoth truck UP AGAINST my brand new Jeep's bumper and then when I politely point out your parking error, you look at me like I have snakes coming out of my hair, give a snotty and dismissive grunt and then proceed into the building without doing a damn thing about it???? Well the next time you ride your precious $50,000 motorcycle to work, I'll be busy outside destroying it!!!" (I really wanted to draw me driving over the motorcycle with my Jeep here but as you can see my drawing skills are quite sub par and the sheer mechanics of drawing something like that are just beyond me at this point. I mean just look how sorry my motorcycle is.)

For that very special co-worker biotch who talks smack about you behind your back and then has the nerve to be nice to your face.  OR for that one co-worker who LIVES to milk the system, drawing FMLA with made up conditions, therefore causing you and the whole team to have to do his/her work while the company has to hold their position.  This could also apply to the hag in HR who doesn't have the balls to fire said FMLA milker.  They just might come in one day to find that you've left them a gift in their desk drawer.

And let's not leave out your favorite boss.  You know, the one who sits in his office all day, acting as slave driver, playing solitaire on his computer.  Or perhaps he or she just loves to make you sweat your job - really drives it home that you are totally expendable to them.  The one that has no social skills and you suspect might have banged or blew someone to get to the top?  Yeah, that one!!!