Fast Food And Fast Tempers

I hate McDonald’s ad campaigns.  There, I said it.  I’ll never forget the first time many years ago when they started coming out with their stupid (at the time new) sayings that are riddled with slang.  The main one annoys the shat out of me, which everyone knows - “I’m lovin’ it”, and they always go on to slip little slang phrases here and there into their commercials AND put stupid slogans on their packaging as if we weren’t inundated enough with the idiocracy.  Their commercials constantly leave me with a look on my face like some big hairy construction type, bear of a man just spit a huge chunk of chewing tobacco out at my feet in public; disgust with an undertone of shock and definite dismay.  

But here’s what made me have a total melt down. . . . . .I don’t go there often but one day back when all of this new ad campaigning started, I suppose I drank the kool-aid and decided to get one of their microwaved burgers.  While in the drive through, I see a single standing sign advertising the types of credit cards they take.  On the sign it had all of the mock up pictures for said cards and then a phrase above it. . . . . . . . . 

As you’ve most likely gathered, I have one or more screws loose.  So naturally this most likely total non-offensive phrase completely set me off.  I went from zero to ranting and raving lunatic in about 1 millisecond.  If I remember correctly, I screamed out a very loud “WHAT?!?!?!?” or most likely in those younger days I didn’t care about screaming profanity in public and the screeched ‘what’ was most likely followed up by the f-word, sh-word or a combo of the three.  I dunno. I was more creative then too so I probably threw out the phrase cockgobbling at some point.  Anyway, it must have been bad because I seem to remember people’s nervous eyed glances in their rear view mirrors and such. Perhaps a few turned heads as I got out of the car and fixated on the sign that had to be destroyed right then.

Why was this so bothersome to me you wonder?  Besides the “I’m nuttier than a fruitcake” defense that I can claim, it most likely stemmed from the fact that many new things were coming about.  Social media platforms like myspace or facebook were brimming on the horizon and bounding towards mainstream popularity, thus catapulting the beginnings of the demise of our face to face social skills.  Which is a whole ‘nother post.