A Love Story

So I was driving to work this morning but running late. Now when I just used the word driving in that sentence, I actually mean that I was pretending I was in a demolition derby.  God that would be so effing cool to do! Yeah. I totally would do that. So I’m whipping in and out of lanes and I get behind someone with a bumper sticker that said something to the effect of: DRIVE SAFELY - A LIFE ALTERING BRAIN INJURY OCCURS EVERY 20 SECONDS DUE TO TRAFFIC ACCIDENTS. *crickets* Way to make me feel bad about driving like an asshole! I’m a crazy driver but some of my worst fears are hitting an animal, hitting a pedestrian or killing someone in a car accident or something respectively along those lines. 

Speaking of head injuries, do you know how much I love mullets? I only love mullets though if the person, because let’s face it they’re not limited to men, totally OWNS THAT SHIT. You know, the manly lesbian you see with the flannel shirt on in the Home Depot parking lot sporting the mullet. 

Or the white trash, trailer park shirtless guy with the farmer’s tan. 

OR the vato who sports the curly mexi-mullet, letting it flow long and shiny (which I had the pleasure of witnessing the other day.) 

My most favorite mullet sporting white guy though – DAWG. 

His mullet is a blonde halo of gloriousness and so perfect for him. I don’t think any other hair style would work for him at all because with those leather vests, chains, heeled boots and huge boobed wife, it’s the perfect compliment. 

Oh and you’ll be seeing Dog come up again in another installment of “Won’t you be my neighbor,” because damn. The backyard BBQs would be OFF THE HOOK with that family. 

Oh yeah, and by the way. . . . If I didn't think that sporting a bumper sticker was totally tacky, I'd so go with this one:

XOXO