The UNSUNG P.I.M.P.S Of Hollywood

We all know of my love/lust for a certain batch of yummy molecules, so they shall be mentioned but remain undisplayed in this blog post in observance of space. They are (in no particular order of do-able status): David Duchovny, Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, Rick Moranis, Harold Ramis, Jack Nicholson, Gene Wilder and Eddie Murphy.

But at this time, I’d like to give props to more of the men I consider to be true pimp daddies of Hollywood (or have gained the status of fame or recognition in the public eye) and have gone for the most part unrecognized/underappreciated and wouldn’t normally get recognized as your typical pimp. 

Michael Keaton – I have serious love for this man. Not only do I feel he was the best Batman to date but many of his other movies? Hysterical and sort of half cocked crazy! A most notable movie that’s one of my faves - Beetlejuice. 

Stephen Hawking – Smart and witty even though he’s got a disability. OK, I might have chosen him because I stumbled upon this picture while on the internet one day. He’s wayyyyy out of my league in the brain capacity arena but as this picture illustrates, can pimp it out with the big boys. 

Chevy Chase – Oh hellz yeah. What a tall and handsome drink of dark whisky this guy is. Those short shorts back in the Fletch/Caddyshack/European Vacation days that he pulled off – HAWT. Not only that, I used to totally want a husband like him in all those “vacation” movies, nerdy handsome (kind of Clark Kent-ish), hilarious and an awesome family man to boot. 

Jerry Springer – I know. You think I’m smoking crack but here’s what I love about this guy; He is actually intelligent, with a political career before/outside of his show. I would LOVE to have lunch with him and have a real world conversation. I truly believe he did The Jerry Springer Show to display what real world white trash problems actually are, and of course to jump on that talk show cash cow bandwagon. I just absolutely love the early beginnings of the show, where you can see the true concern for the guests in his facial expressions. As time wore on and he became entangled in the monster that the show became, he got very sarcastic and funny about it all. Gold. 

Speaking of gold - Jeff Goldblum – Also a funny guy but can pull of a serious roll easily – and his body? SICK! Seriously, pay attention to him in his older movies and you'll see that his body was rockin’ and I’m not usually into muscular guys. 

Jon Stewart – handsome, funny, smart and not only smart, but intelligent. Much more mainstream hot than he used to be in his beginnings, and since he’s gotten older and his hair has grayed, it makes him even hotter. 

Jim Carrey – holy cow was I in LURVE with him back in the day. It kind of threw me when he ended up with Jenny McCarthy for years but I’ve always loved his unpolished looks and unabashed ways to pull a laugh out of his audience.

OK, so with the good comes the bad and here are some glaring examples of dudes who would NOT make my pimp list (and this is where 98% of women and I part ways): 

Matthew McConaughey – C’mon ladies, really??? – I just don’t have words for a guy that knows he's hot. Men and women alike both in everyday life and in Hollywood who know they’re hot irritate me to no end. There’s just something to be said for people that are a-typically beautiful or interesting to look at, and who, on top of it don’t know it or might know it but don’t flaunt it. D.O.U.C.H.E 

Brad Pitt – Overplayed, overdone, not attractive.

Vin Diesel – OH GAWD, GROSS.  Really? Not only was I sorely disappointed in women who swooned over him when he came into fame, but am I the ONLY girl who his voice FREAKS out?!?!? It's all "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!!" Silence of the Lambs-ish.... When he was cool, I know A TON of guys who had little man crushes on him too, and thought he was the man. NOOOOO thank you!

Anyway, I’ll get back to funny stuff, I promise. I’m sure my run down of hot pieces of tail bores you to no end. What can I say?  A girl can’t help her lusty ways.