Space Invaders

So this HAS to have happened to you too, because I really just don’t want to be the only one. It happens to me way more often than is necessary and makes me go from zero to INSTANTPISSEDOFFEDNESS in .000001 seconds. What I’m talking about are space invaders.

Maybe my pretend force field bubble is smaller than most persons’, maybe I just can’t contain my crazy in public anymore but I CAN’T STAND IT when someone I don’t know gets all up in my bidness when I’m in public!!!!! If I’m standing in an aisle looking at something, WHY do you have to come over and get an inch from me to look at the same shit??? Or, case in point, the other day (and this happens to me all the time): I’m standing in the checkout line at the grocery store and this psycho hose beast comes up behind me (mind you I’m standing BESIDE the conveyor belt, not behind it blocking it, or anything) almost bumps me, and starts unloading her groceries dropping them ONTO mine, almost crushing my eggs and everything! Then she starts putting her grubby little ho hands all over my stuff to move it out of her way! I turned around and shot her my best back-the-fuck-up look and told her that I could move my stuff out of her way, not that it was in the way but thankyouverymuch quit touching my stuff, and she sort of shrank back and muttered something.

Then! Guess what??? She had the nerve to interrupt the cashier and I, while I was paying for my groceries to tell her that she needed to wait on her while she ran to her car to get her debit card because she left it in the car. The cashier just sort of stood there with her mouth open while the little idget sprinted off and so I blurted out loudly enough for her to hear, “yeah, and the bitch just shoved my groceries out of her way too, nice!” Of course, then I GET flabbergasted looks from the cashier and the bagger boy! Like I’m out of line or something?! God get WITH it people!! Have some EFFING manners – wait your turn, it’s not all about you, give people a healthy amount of space in public! I just can’t stand it. It’s no wonder that people are randomly walking into malls etc. and shooting up the place! By the way, if this has ever crossed your mind, do something way cooler, like Kill Bill style it up, with a Samurai sword or machete your way through the crowd maiming as you go. Ooooh, or a mace, use a mace. Man, Go-Go Yubari from Kill Bill has a special place in my heart. Way to wield a mace, honey! 

Where was I? Oh. Yes. Crazy talk. I don’t understand why this happens to me all the time, please let me know I’m not the only one! Bueller? Bueller? I’d now like to start defending my stance on this by saying, I’m a cuddler. Really I’m an affectionate person. If I know you and you want to give me a hug, or touch me in any way, even if we’re just friends I’m cool with that! I’m not devoid of being receptive to human contact, I don’t shake in a corner and pee on myself at night wondering how I’m going to cope with going out into the world the next day. I just want people to BE NORMAL until I get to know them. Then they can show their bat shit craziness all they want! I don't think it's a lot to ask. . . . . . .